Arwen's Brilliant Idea
by teirrah
Summary: A party is in mind, but what is the catch? CHAPTER 5!
1. The Autumn Solstice

Arwen sank into the bathtub and let out a sigh. It had been a long and tiring day, and she'd had a lot to think a bout – how she felt about Aragorn for a start. It felt great to put all of that to the back of her mind, and do nothing but relax. The sweet aromas of the bubble bath were beginning to play with her mind. Her eyelids were becoming heavier. She was feeling sleepy…  
  
***  
  
Legolas walked over to her in the garden. He twirled around, a huge grin on his face. "How do I look?" he asked. Arwen was shocked. She had never seen him looking more ridiculous. He was wearing…  
  
***  
  
Knock, knock, knock.  
  
Arwen awoke with a start. Someone was outside the bathroom, and was obviously trying to get in. "Who is it?" she called, slightly annoyed. The voice that replied here was far more annoyed than she was.  
  
"Are you finished yet? You've been in there for ages!" Arwen groaned. She should have guessed. Who else could it be? "What are you doing in there? I need to wash my hair. It's getting all greasy!"  
  
"All right Legolas. I'm coming!" With that, Arwen heaved herself out of the bathtub and proceeded to dry herself. As she did this, she glanced at the clock on the wall. "Shit!" It was 6:30. She had been asleep for nearly 2 hours! And she was supposed to be meeting Aragorn at 6:00!  
  
***  
  
Later on that evening, at dinner, Arwen was sitting next to her one true love – Aragorn. She had found him, and apologised. All was now sorted out. She looked up at him and smiled. Their eyes met, and they seemed to melt. 'Yes' she thought, 'He's the one for me'. Their connection was sharply broken off by her father, Elrond, standing up and clearing his throat. A silence ran over the hall as all eyes were turned on him.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen. As you are all aware, we have some guests here today. They are indeed our very close friends from Mirkwood: the King Thranduil and his son Legolas, and the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn from Lothlorien. I know you will all make them feel welcome. As most of you will know, they are here for our annual Autumn Solstice. We have not yet decided on our theme for this year, but many of you will look back fondly at last year's event with a keen eye. We are welcome to any suggestions for the theme. Thank you."  
  
This announcement caused a stir in among the elves. Aragorn looked over to his lady, and smiled. She smiled back and stood up. They walked out into the gardens of Rivendell hand in hand.  
  
***  
  
It was not until that evening when Arwen was in bed that she remembered her dream from earlier that day. She giggled out loud. Legolas had looked absurd. Suddenly an idea hit her. What if… she hugged her pillow in anticipation. She would see her father I the morning.  
  
***  
  
"Arwen, are you out of your mind? A Slag and Drag Party? We have respectable elves here from all over Middle Earth. What will they think when they are told that for the Autumn Solstice they have to dress up as female prostitutes? You must be joking?"  
  
Arwen giggled. "No, yes, I don't know, and no."  
  
"What?" Elrond asked glaring at her.  
  
"I was answering your questions." Arwen said with a sigh. It was hopeless. She knew her father would never give in. He was very stubborn. Shame, it would have been so much fun to see Galadriel in a mini-dress and heavy eye make-up. "Ok. Will you at least consider it?" She asked.  
  
"All right, but I'm not making any promises. Now go. I have some important matters to attend to." Arwen knew what would happen. Elrond would put the idea past a council, and see what they thought of her idea. 'Please let them like it. Please!' 


	2. Decision Time

A/N Thanks to all of your reviews, I am really grateful. Here is the second chapter. I hope you like it! Please review and tell me what you think.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to J. R. R. Tolkien, and no one else.  
  
  
  
***  
  
"I have called you all to this small council, to discuss the Autumn Solstice." Elrond said. He was in his office, and he was addressing Glorfindel, Celeborn, Galadriel, and Thranduil. "My daughter has an come up with an idea, but I am not sure if I entirely approve."  
  
"Well what is her idea?" asked Celeborn.  
  
"Let him finish Celeborn. Can't you tell that the poor man is dreading to tell us. It's hard enough for him as it is, without you making him more nervous." said Galadriel sharply to her husband.  
  
"Erm, yes. Well Arwen has suggested a 'Slag and Drag party'." Elrond said. All that were present laughed. "What's so funny?" asked Elrond. They had responded in an entirely different manner to that which he had expected of them.  
  
"I think that it's a good idea." Glorfindel said firmly as Elrond goggled at him. "It would bring a light-hearted atmosphere into this place. Make it more lively." Seeing Elrond's expression after his last comment, Glorfindel added hastily: "Not that it needs it, especially."  
  
Galadriel ignored Glorfindel's remark and asked gently: "Elrond, dear, are there any more suggestions as to the theme?"  
  
Elrond looked nervous "Erm…Not really…"  
  
***  
  
Arwen spent the rest of the day not doing much, except for having deep philosophical discussions with Aragorn, for example: who is more gorgeous, Brad Pitt or Heath Ledger, which, for some strange reason, Aragorn had no preference. I mean how can he not, Brad Pitt is sooooo hunky, but Heath Ledger has gorgeous hair, then again, Brad Pitt is so much more sophisticated, so I'd have to go with Brad. Anyway, back to the story. She had another bath, but thankfully did not have any more disturbing dreams.  
  
***  
  
That evening, when they were in the Hall for dinner again, Arwen noticed that her father looked extremely anxious about something. 'I wonder what he's so nervous about' thought Arwen. Just as she had thought this, Elrond stood up. As with the night before, the hall silenced, and Elrond suddenly became very aware, (which he only seemed to notice when he was not looking forward to breaking some news), that everyone was watching him attentively. He looked over to Galadriel for support. She smiled at him and nodded.  
  
"Erm… The end of the day has come yet again, and the sun has shown us a beautiful, and dramatic exit, as I noticed on my way over here tonight…" Elrond suddenly realised that he was babbling. "That is, the end of the day signals the end of…a day, and we must come together for an evening meal. As I mentioned last night, the Autumn Solstice is drawing near. I had one suggestion which caught the council's eye. This was given to us by my daughter, Arwen." Elrond gestured to his daughter, and everyone turned to look at her. Arwen blushed, before everyone turned their attention back to the speaker.  
  
"The theme for this year's Solstice will be… aslaganddragtheme." He very quickly sat down, as Galadriel looked disapprovingly at him.  
  
"I could understand that because I knew what you were saying, but what about people such as Aragorn, or Legolas? They can't have been able to hear you. Say it again." she hissed at him.  
  
Elrond stood up reluctantly. It was clear to everyone that he did not want to say whatever he was trying to say.  
  
"I'm sorry if you didn't quite catch that. So here it is again. The theme for this year's Solstice will be a Slag and Drag." He looked around at many bewildered faces. He sighed. "For any of you who do not know what that involves… a slag and drag party is where everyone dresses up as female prostitutes." He sat down very speedily. All around him, excited whispers rushed through the hall, like the wind rustling the leaves of a willow tree.  
  
Arwen couldn't believe her ears. They were taking her suggestion! She grinned at Aragorn, then noticed his terrified expression.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, concerned.  
  
"Can I borrow one of your dresses?" he asked. 


	3. Shopping!

A/N: sorry I haven't written for ages!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to J. R .R. Tolkien.  
  
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"I know it's in here somewhere!" called Arwen from her wardrobe. Aragorn was sitting very nervously on the edge of her bed. He looked at all the dresses on the floor. He had tried almost every dress that Arwen owned, and none of them seemed to fit. If this one didn't…  
  
"Here it is!" yelled Arwen triumphantly as she walked out of the wardrobe. She was wearing a huge grin that spread from one side of her face to the other. She was brandishing a pink mini-dress with spaghetti straps, and 'Angel' slashed across the front in big silver letters. Aragorn took one look at the dress and gazed into Arwen's eyes pleadingly.  
  
"Are you sure that you don't have any…"  
  
"Of course I'm sure," interrupted Arwen, "I do know the contents of my wardrobe. Besides, if you don't like it, we could always go shopping in some nice girly shops…"  
  
Aragorn's face showed an expression of pure horror as he snatched the dress from Arwen's hand and literally leaped into the bathroom.  
  
'You can't blame the guy for wanting to keep his reputation.' thought Arwen. 'It's a shame though, it would be hilarious to drag him around Topshop…' Arwen's thought's continued down this path until Aragorn emerged from the bathroom cautiously. He looked ridiculous. Arwen had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. 'Well it's a good thing that I'm taking him shopping!' she thought.  
  
"I think we have a winner!" she smiled.  
  
"It appears so!" replied Aragorn, obviously not as chuffed as Arwen had appeared.  
  
'Pity' thought Arwen, 'I liked that dress.' She glanced at the clock, and sidled over to Aragorn, pushing him up against the wall and kissing him passionately. When they broke apart, Aragorn looked shocked.  
  
"What was that for?" he asked confused.  
  
Arwen smirked. "We still have an hour before we're meant to be downstairs." she said suggestively.  
  
Aragorn smiled and kissed her back, just as passionately.  
  
"I'm sorry darling, but that dress is going to have to come off!" she said breathlessly, and riped it right down the middle.  
  
***  
  
Forty-five minutes later, when they had redressed, Aragorn looked sadly upon the dress that he was supposed to be wearing, which was now nothing more than mere tatters.  
  
"I guess we're going to have to go shopping after all!" remarked Arwen, grinning.  
  
***  
  
Topshop was really quiet for a Saturday afternoon. There seemed to be hardly anyone there at all. Aragorn was hiding behind Arwen, trying not to be seen.  
  
Arwen rolled her eyes. She looked around for the dresses. Suddenly she laughed. It appeared that they were not alone. Over in the dress section, rooting through the rows undoubtedly looking for something his size, was Legolas. He already had half a dozen short skirts in his hand, and he was humming 'Barbie Girl' to himself. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.  
  
"Afternoon Legolas!" called Arwen. Legolas looked up worried, then smiled as he recognised the speaker.  
  
"Hello Arwen." he replied as she walked over to him.  
  
"I assume that you are here for the same purpose that we are?" she enquired, looking quizzically at the rapidly growing amount of coat-hangers that Legolas clutched.  
  
"Yes, I think that you assume correctly." he answered.  
  
"I came to buy Aragorn a dress, and give him a few pointers." said Arwen.  
  
"Well, where is he then?" Legolas asked rather puzzled.  
  
"What do you…" Arwen began, then stopped as she looked behind her. Legolas was right. Aragorn had vanished. Arwen scanned the store, and paused when she spotted him ogling at the lingerie. "Aragorn!" she called sharply. Aragorn turned round, went bright red, and ran over.  
  
"Sorry!" he apologised.  
  
"It's alright." she assured him. "Erm…I think that I might leave you two here to get on with it, while I go and get myself some stuff that I need."  
  
Aragorn looked at her worried. "Please don't leave me with him!" he whispered. Arwen laughed.  
  
"I'll meet you in Costa in an hour." she called as she turned around.  
  
"Cheerio!" Legolas called, then looked at Aragorn with a big smile on his face. "This'll be fun…"  
  
***  
  
Arwen was waiting for them when the two men arrived, each presenting a full Topshop bag. Arwen smiled and gestured for them to sit down, as she ordered them some coffee. As he sat down, Aragorn noticed that Arwen had four bags with her.  
  
"What did you get?" he asked.  
  
"Well, I got a new bra from La Senza, after what happened yesterday afternoon," at this Aragorn blushed, but Arwen continued. "And I got my costume from BHS, some shoes from Paris, and some make-up and leg wax from Boots."  
  
Legolas made a face at this last remark. Arwen spotted it and added one last comment.  
  
"The wax is for you two, as your legs are so hairy! I thought that I'd take the liberty." Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other in horror.  
  
"Leg wax?" they both moaned.  
  
"Come on," she said raising an eyebrow over her coffee cup, "I thought that you two were grown men!" 


	4. PARTY!

Chapter 4  
  
"Right you two, strip!" ordered Arwen. Legolas and Aragorn groaned. It was the day of the party, and the men needed to be de-haired. "Are you men, or mice?" asked Arwen with an amused smile playing on her lips. "Mice!" whined Legolas. Arwen chuckled evilly as she reached into her cupboard and retrieved the leg wax. Aragorn turned green. "Isn't there some other way of doing this?" he asked, his face reflecting pure terror. "No." said Arwen innocently, as she walked into the bathroom and hid her hair removal cream. She wanted to have some fun with the boys, and besides, it would be a hilarious story to tell all her friends. When she re-entered the room, both men had removed their trousers, and were sitting on the floor. Aragorn's legs were as tense as bowstrings, and Legolas was shaking like a jelly. "Now, it says here that we have to heat the wax in hot water, and then apply it to the legs. We then uses these strips of material," here she held up a wad of bandages, "and then we rip them off, leaving no hairs on your legs. Right then, who wants to go first?" Both Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other nervously. Aragorn's hand rose tentatively into the air. Arwen smiled to herself. This would be fun.  
  
*** Later on that evening, Arwen stepped into the Hall of Fire. She was wearing a blue bra, which was laced with fur. A navy miniskirt hung from her hips, and a black beret rested on her head. She lips were red as strawberries, and her eyelashes were so heavily coated in mascara, that it would take her a week to remove it. She smiled to herself. Any moment now, she would see Legolas and Aragorn coming down from their rooms, and she knew that the sight would be imprinted in her mind forever. Legolas came first. He was wearing a red miniskirt, with a matching crop top. He was carrying a red feather bower, and his fingernails were bright red. Arwen walked sexily towards him, swaying her hips as she went. "Hello," she said, as she tried to stifle a laugh. "You look. um. nice." she finally said. "Why thank you!" exclaimed Legolas, excitedly. "This is going to be so much fun!" he said. Just at that moment, Aragorn turned up. He was having trouble walking in his knee high purple boots, and he was pulling down his dress, that only half covered his thighs. Arwen giggled and walked over to him. "Purple suits you!" she commented innocently. Aragorn scowled at her, but his expression soon changed when he realised what she was wearing. His eyes travelled over her hungrily, and Arwen blushed. just at that moment, Elrond appeared. He was wearing a black skin-tight cat suit. Arwen and Aragorn both cringed. "Hello!" he said brightly as he walked over to join them. "Hi Dad!" said Arwen with a false smile on her face. "Well, this seems to be turning into a very lively party! A very brilliant idea Arwen! Now, I must find out where your Grandmother is." he said and disappeared into the crowds. Arwen and Aragorn looked at each other, and quickly ran over to the bar.  
  
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A/N Thanks for reading my story, I'm so sorry that I haven't written it for ages, but I've just been so busy! I'm sorry that it isn't very long, but I'll make the next chapter longer, I promise. Please read and review. I'll write the next chapter very soon! 


	5. La la la

".Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a snail.no, pail of water." "Shut up Legolas!" slurred Arwen, from the floor. They were in a small room off the main hall where the main party was taking place. The three of them had decided to retire into this side room for some privacy, and to save Arwen the humiliation of having to watch her drunken father pole dance. Aragorn was lying beside her, staring out the window, counting the stars. ".5,893.5,894.5,895." he muttered to himself. Legolas grinned wickedly. ".6,783.8,952.7,915." he shouted from the sofa, where he was stroking his now fuzz-free legs. "Leggy!" complained Aragorn. "I've lost my place now!" He made as if to sit up, but feeling a headache coming on, he flopped back down again on top of Arwen. "Ooof" said Arwen. "Ouch! Stop digging your elbow into my boob!" she rolled over and picked up the rum bottle. "Aww. It's empty." "Noooooo!" exclaimed Legolas. "Gone?!?! Why's rum gone?" "Because we drank it all." pointed out Aragorn, sitting up. "But.but." "I'll go get some more," said Arwen decidedly. Swaying, she got to her feet and stumbled out of the room. With a groan Aragorn sank back down again. Legolas crawled off the sofa and lay down next to him, face to face with Aragorn, grinning from ear to ear. "Do you know what we should do?" he asked goofily. "What?" asked Aragorn tiredly. "We could go and count how many trees are in Imladris." he said. "I've always wanted to know that. "Legolas," said Aragorn patronisingly. He was of course, the least drunk out of the three of them, and sobering fast. "That could take days." "Exactly." laughed Legolas. "Anyway, it would be fun." he added brightly. Just at that moment, Arwen came back into the room carrying a half bottle of whiskey, two bacardi breezers and a full bottle of vodka. "Let's get smashed boys!" she announced, before flopping onto the sofa giggling. Aragorn stood up and leant over her. "Hun, I think you've had enough to drink." He said gently. Arwen giggled and put a finger to her lips. "Shhhhh!" She squealed as Aragorn picked her up in his arms. "My hero!" she smiled. Aragorn rolled his eyes, smiling back at her. "Come on, you two need some fresh air. We're going outside," he said. "Yay!!" yelled Legolas. "Can I count the trees?" he asked. "If you want." replied Aragorn, leading the way outside.  
  
***  
  
"Oooh. Dark." remarked Arwen, looking around her. Legolas whimpered from behind her. He caught up with her and grabbed her hand tightly, looking around at the trees, as if expecting some creature to appear any moment. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark?" asked Aragorn jokingly. When Legolas just looked at him petrified, he started to chuckle. "An elf scared of the dark!? I'll have to remember that one!" As they walked on through the woods, the only sound that they heard was an owl hooting in the distance. Suddenly Arwen stepped on a twig. Legolas spun round sharply. "What was that?" he whispered. Arwen giggled. "Just a twig silly." she said laughing. She broke free of Legolas and ran into a clearing. "Wow! This place looks so beautiful at night." she said, spinning round and round, her arms spread out. Aragorn stopped and stared at her transfixed. She looked so beautiful. He walked towards her and slid his hands sown her arms, their hands joining. Legolas stood on the edge of the clearing, still frantically looking around for danger. Suddenly he ran back the way they came, screaming. Arwen, startled, looked in his direction, but he was gone. She laughed. "The silly twit. He's gone and scared himself half to death." Just at that moment, Arwen and Aragorn heard an almighty splash, followed by a piercing scream. "AAAGGHHHRRRRR!!!!! I'M ALL WET!!!!!"  
  
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A/N Thanks for reading. I'm so sorry that I haven't updated for ages, and ages. I will try to write more soon and update. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review, any comments are welcome. Thanks, Hattie xxxx 


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